I have to admit that I recently “mindlessly consumed.” (If you’re confused, click here. I wrote a post about it earlier.) Kari Jo and I received two free tickets to “A Chorus Line” playing in Louisville. I’ve always wanted to see a Broadway show and have never been to New York, so I was excited. I had heard of “A Chorus Line,” but knew nothing about it. I have waited a while to write this post because I wanted to make sure that no one else could go see this musical. I didn’t read any reviews of the show, we just got a babysitter and headed on our way in ignorance. I was shocked and terribly uncomfortable. There was an unexpected about of expletives and other vulgarities. However, that’s not what I want to write about today.
While there, stuck in the middle of 50 people, unable to get out of the theater I decided to look for lessons in this play. The show is about a group of young people trying out for a Broadway show and the auditioner questioned each of the participants about their reasons for getting into theater. Trudging through the vulgarity of the dialog you heard things like (paraphrasing) “my mom told me that I was ugly,” “my father took me to a theater where I was molested…,” “I needed to feel loved and understood,” and they went on and on about how something in their past made them who they were today.
Now I know that there is an ongoing trend to blame any issues that arise in your life to the way your parents raised you and blame them for it. To some degree I would disagree. Sometimes we make choices and we have to face the consequences. However, I am learning more and more how much the way I choose to interact or not interact with my children directly impacts them. I think about my relationship with my parents who loved me, talked with me, taught me about Jesus (not just took me to church), played with me, and guided me to be the man I am today. I give them a lot of deserved credit. However, for many children the exact opposite can be said.
How many children that aren’t finding love from their fathers end up so desperate to be loved that they will do anything to find “love?” How many people do you know that weren’t told that they are beautiful creations of God and that they are loved not only in this home, but by the Creator and as a result are constantly trying to improve themselves or adorn themselves to make themselves more attractive?
Is it me, or does it seem that there is a fine line of balance that parents have to have? Too much encouragement and we create an arrogant beast who thinks the world revolves around them; not enough encouragement and you get a kid who thinks that they aren’t worth the time of day.
Then there are the things that we do that may be innocent actions that have consequences. As I sat and watched this character talk about his father that took him to a theater to see a movie on Saturdays. But, because the son had bad eyesight, he would go to the front where he could see and these “strange men would play with me.” You could almost feel the hurt that he had felt towards his father. This led to the son finding relationships with other men and he always felt like something was wrong with him, but he didn’t know what to do. Did the father know? I don’t know.
What I do know is that I have a weighty burden to bear because of the gift God has given me through my children. I have the charge to care for, protect, love, train, lead, encourage, and discipline my children in the way of the Lord. Does anyone else find this overwhelming? There are two major relationships in our lives that influence who we become as adults: parents and friends. When we are younger, the relationships we have with our parents and what they allow, deny, and ignore directly impacts who we will choose to be friends with. As we get into middle and high school, the friends that we have will impact our futures more than any other factor. I’ve seen this evidenced in both positive and negative ways in my life and in the lives of the students that have passed though this congregation. I preach it all the time to our students.
Honestly, I don’t know if these thoughts are making any sense. I know that every day I see kids that are struggling to find out who they are. I hear kids talk about the pressure to excel in everything, look perfect all the time, and be involved in everything. I hear kids say that they are tired, have no time for themselves, and not being free to be themselves, but rather who their parents want them to be. We speak into our childrens’ lives with our words and our actions? What are you speaking into their lives? Encouragement? Discouragement? Love and concern? Apathy and exhaustion? Are we frustrating them or empowering them? What you do now as a parent will impact your child, grandchildren, and on in ways that we may never understand. May we never make a decision flippantly or without thought. May we seek to point them to Jesus in all that we do.
All that from “A Chorus Line?” Who’d of thought that such an offensive thing could cause me to reflect on the enormity of the responsibility that is parenting? Be blessed.
